Kashieray

24/01/13

I’m just a girl,

I’m just a girl, who is 17 years of age,

Wondering through this world

Not thinking of what she wants

Walking through the desert

Sweaty hands and feet sore me.

I need more

I need more than just the words “I love you”

Dating boys, who should obviously be…? MEN!

Kissing and telling is kind of my thing..

I’ve always been that way

Always wanting new “toys”.

I am allowed.

I am allowed to follow my heart

To wish upon a star

For the boy a makes me fall? Seriously?

That’s okay because I’ll know what I want

Someone to make me go completely crazy.

I’ve written plenty

I’ve written plenty of poems…

Of my dad’s suicide, to broken pieces of my heart,

My mom is one of my poetry idols

She works a lot, so..

I don’t know if their good..

I was so young

I was so young from the very start

Where I had to be a “big kid”

Crying with my mother, and helping her,

Going through her depression with her

Crying myself to sleep, hoping things would change.

I love

I love my family

They mean the WORLD to me

They make me mad at times

But they make me smile anyways

All I want is their trust and love.

Maybe one day..

Maybe one day I could find out

How this life came to be

Following up from the death of a father…

A man who loved his daughter

Who died because of false ways?

I’m 17 years old

I’m 17 years old with a life full of sadness and hatred

There is so much to learn

From the pain and sorrows

I can learn from this

I just know I can, It’s not to late

Boys are so…

Boys are so weird…

They say they love you

But then soon disappear.

They fade into the cold darkness

Whispering soft goodbyes

Dyeing everyday

Dyeing everyday inside from all the bullshit lies

Those past friends have said

To much lies have taken in my brain

Lies hurt the most when they come from the most lovable ones

I can relate. I said a lot of lies in my life.

My idol

My idol is Sarah Kay

How she speaks is amazing

The way the moves her body that creates me

Her voice echoes in my mind

Helping me become a better writer.

My mom

My mom has been so much

I should know..

I was right there beside her

Praying the pain would end

Broken hearts became our thing.

My father

My father died when I was a year and half

Suicide was his main thought

No one could have saved him

I was I could, somehow have saved my father

I learned from his death.

Following love

Following love is that a feeling? I really don’t know

I COULD fall in love again.

I could pull my heart out of my chest

And make it chose its lover

Calling it to come to me from within

No one knows

No one knows just how much pain I’m in,

Scars, shattered heart, mini devils

Do you see how much I feel?

Just look at me. I’m a mess.

I could just lay here. Sleeping.

There is so much more I could say.

But I don’t want to bore you

I hope you like my Video and add me on face-book

http://www.facebook.com/kasha.rae.savage.FREE

http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard

-Inspired by: My Mom, and Spoken out Poet- Sarah Kay.

20th Dec 2012

Closed Doors…

I live behind closed doors,
Where my love over powers my world,
Where my stuff animals come alive and talk to me,
Where my pain and loss of hope would just disappear.

I could be in this world alone,
No one to fight with about who I was
No one to tell me how to act
No one to tell how I felt about my personality.

I would find my way into a fantasy bubble
Where the unicorns and fairies excited
Where the only magic could help me FIGHT back
Where the feeling safe motto could come again.

Some place i know, there i can see it,
among the dangled trees,
flapping like dolphins to welcome me home,
slowly walking beyond the flowers of love.

No one really knows who I am,
and I know that they won’t understand,
but just maybe, just maybe I could find that one,
my prince, my prince and shining armor.

He could come find me,
in this bubble i call my cell,
a home i might imagine even more beautiful then outside,
that will be the best day of my life.

Along the meadow of lust and despair,
I found myself looking into a globe,
I found myself wondering into another world,
I was the only one to catch the falling pieces.

Maybe i was just a kid,
when i felt that sorrow I feel now,
When I felt alone and no one to love me,
When I only had my stuffed animals.

I am older now,
I believe in fairies,
I know that unicorns will take me far away from here,
I love how i can create such a magical world of wonder.

After all.. I do live behind closed doors.

20th Dec 2012

My Freedom...

I don't want to keep going.. I just want to take him and run away.. far.. away.
It has come to my attention that my life will be filled with guys that will come and go.
I'm 17.. I think i deserve to be getting stoned or drunk, or kissing other guys.. and partying..
but that is not my life.. I dream for that! but I know inside that might never happen for me..